The Weeks Go By

I have several things that keep circling like a vulture in the sky around in my head.  These things pop up and circle, but never quite land and go away.

 -  Brian's Infidelity with Jackie - Was it strictly sex or was there an emotional connection.  Was he planning on leaving?  Now that a year has gone by, he still does not say much, I am still standing outside the window wondering if he is disappointed and longing for something else, or is he content and happy he stayed.  I wish I could feel his commitment in my bones like I used to.

-  My weight gain and my ageing - I need to find a way to loose weight and I need to find a way to better accept the aging process.  I wish my self esteem was better.  I wish I felt optimistic.

-  My Job - How did I end up with such a shit situation with such poor pay.  I used to have the energy and desire, the drive to grow and improve.  I have felt so jilted in my job that I no longer have that drive either.  Again, the pessimism lives within me here.

The vultures need to land, get their food and leave sometime don't they?  God, I wish they would go away.  The swirling is exhausting.

06/30/17