Days like this are more and more frequent. Standard days that are filled with the mundane routine of life. Level days with no highs and no lows. While I appreciate these days, I am cautious about them. They are the dull drums of life that cause the need for excitement and curiosity.
I have those desires for adventure in my head when I have to many standard days. I fear that I am not living my life, but simply existing to do the chores of existence. I then think, he must feel the same way. Much like a caged animal, the same thing over and over again.
Yet, I don't get bored of him. I love him, I hate him, I adore him, I despise him. He makes me joyful, he pisses me of, He is so much fun, he is annoying as hell. This is why I don't get bored of him. He evokes a full range of feelings for me, just by being him. I accept that range of feelings. I appreciate that I have them. The good and the bad.
Days like this, I need to appreciate them more too. Maybe someday I won't fear them. I can just let them be. Calm, boring, standard, level, because I know some highs are to high and some lows you simply can may not climb out of. I barely climbed out of the last one. I don't think I have it in me to do it again.
Trust in now. I have to learn how to do that when nothing is going on, much like days like this.
